Monday, October 17, 2011

Dating Week

Okay. Daniel wasn't there today, so I couldn't ask him out. Also, I'm getting the feeling that he's dating somebody, but he isn't telling his friends about it. If that's the case, I'm officially screwed. Another thing that happened is that I found out that Jordan was bisexual! Urgh! Why is everyone I'm crushing on gay/bi or already taken? Can someone explain this to me, please? One last thing that happened is Jaden is going to ask out my friend Morgan. Wow! Is this week about friggin' dating or something? My life is out of control... officially out control.

The Nervous Game

Omi-gosh! I'm going to do it. (Hopefully....) I'm going to ask out Daniel. Yep, and Amari's going to be there with me. Ugh! So nervous... The worst part is: Daniel's like my bff - like legitly my BFF - and I don't want to lose that friendship. And I usually see him and Jordan and our other brother, Jaden TODAY. Yay, I'm soooooo.... screwed! Ugh, darn my shyness!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

The Burn Hits

UGH! Why me?! I was actually gaining the nerve to ask my crush, the first one not Jordan, to homecoming, but noooo. Someone else apparently had to ask him. Good grief! Why can't I ever get a fairytale ending with a guy, even if it only lasts for a little while? I honestly think I need help. Or my crush's idea might not be that bad. I could be his nurse in the army.... Anyways, what I'm trying to say is: I NEED Daniel! Dear God, please please please help Daniel like me. Wow, Amari was more correct than I thought she was....

Ok, maybe there was a slight exaggeration...

First, "YES, Amari. You were totally and completely RIGHT. Maybe I do still have a crush on him, but that means I like two people now (One more than the other: Daniel then Jordan)."
That whole thing was partly about my last post. I said that I didn't have feelings for my old crush, but apparently my friend was right. I do still have feelings for him, but it's only because.... Ok, scratch that there are alot of things about that kid that I like. Dang you, Amari. And no I do NOT go through them really quickly, as you can now see.*sigh* Why him? Oh, well. He's nice, cute, and absolutely hilarious! *UGH!* I need help...Immediately! Maybe Amari can help because she's smart. Yep. That's my plan: Drag Amari into middle of love life. Yaaaay! Oh no. I'm turning into my friend Morgan. HELP!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Crash and No Burn...but a Whole Lot of Sting

What's wrong with people? What's wrong with me? Most people say society, I only partly agree. Some of it is the own person's fault, thinking they know what they want or need, but not realizing that what's good for them has been staring them in the face the whole time. At least, that's my take on the whole thing.
I feel like I'm being ignored by a person who's very important to me. His name is Jordan; Jordan Krine. He is one of the greatest people I know: he acts like a brother, he can always be counted on to keep a secret, and he's my crush. It was all going great, until he started liking another girl named Jennifer. I never told him that I liked him, but I felt my heart sink when he told us, my other two "brothers" and me that is. I felt like someone had cut into something really deep that I never knew was there, but I ignored the feeling as best I could. I joked around with him about his crush as if I were perfectly fine, but I wasn't. Except, I didn't know that I was hurt really bad because I had developed a crush on of my other "brothers." Though it felt like a crush to me and I felt that I was head-over-heels in love with him, it didn't feel right. It wasn't real...
Slowly, my crush faded away until it was but a speck left in my heart and soon came to-fully-realize that what-or who-I really, truly wanted was Jordan. I started to realize it when I had been on Facebook chatting with him and another friend about my crush, when it was still there. I told him everything about it and noticed that I had just spilled everything to a GUY! I asked him to keep it a secret thinking that I would soon have to plead with him, but his reply was "What crush?" I smiled and wrote back "Thanx" and his reply to that was "Anytime." I automatically felt that I could trust him with anything and began talking to him more. One day, however, I saw him in the hall and decided to greet him with a friendly and bubbly hello. He glared, mumbled a quick hello back and quickly walked away. My heart fell a bit, and my brain had become hopelessly confused. Had I done something wrong? What happened. I decided to confront my crush at time about it. He told me a couple hours later that he wasn't mad. He had apparently gotten mad a book. Whew! I was relieved that he hadn't been mad at me, but at a book instead. The relieved sensation only lasted a little while, though.
 I finally got a cellphone, the most coveted electronic on the face of the earth. I added friends that had a cellphone as well, including Jordan. I texted him just to confirm that the number worked, but he texted back in what seemed as if he was trying to be a jokester with my text. I took it the wrong way. Wisdom for the mind: Don't ever ask a guy what he means by WTF? He will just text you nevermind. Anyways, I kind of forgot about that whole conversation. The next day, I was texting him about how he was dying his hair red and after awhile we stopped talking and I asked him to update me on how everyone liked his hair, except me since I already loved it. (I told him so myself.) That Monday, I asked him how everyone liked his hair and he just shrugged and walked away. Suddenly, my heart skipped a few beats and just crashed. I felt as if I had just been punched in the stomach and was about to throw up. Why had he been ignoring me these past few days? Was I getting on his nerves? I wished he would just tell me if I was. I would back off if he felt that way, I mean honestly. I just wanted him to at least talk to me more. I hope things get better between us or else I just might throw up out of nervousness...